Today's she-ro was nominated by my friend Lynn! (I promise she is a separate person from me even though we have the same name.) I don't know Nini, so instead of writing about her myself, I asked Lynn's permission to share what she wrote about her friend. She is truly a she-ro.
I met Nini in 2001, when I came to work at a college in central Pennsylvania. Nin was the museum director and a professor of Art History. She is brilliant, a leader in her field, and a phenomenal teacher. Students love love love her--and not because she's a cake walk--because she challenges them and is tough on them and because she loves them (though she'd never admit it).
Anyhow, one day, right after I started my job, I went into the museum, knocked on her door, and sheepishly said, "Nancy? I'm Lynn, I went to Rutgers." (You see, my Nini is a Jersey girl through and through; she went to Rutgers at the same time I did--we were probably studying the art library at the same time!) She was raised just 30 minutes from where I was, so when I went in her office (pronounced AW-fice) we she was thrilled to meet another Jersey girl, and we immediately bonded over the lack of good bagels and take out Chinese food in central PA.
We used to hang out a lot. My husband at the time had a long commute to work, so Nin and I would have after-work martinis (these started at 4, because a girl's gotta relax). We were devilish. (I'll leave it at that since this G-rated.)
Here's the best story of how she is the best friend I could ever have--how she is my fourth sister (I have three biological ones). The Nin has been present for both the best and worst days of my life as a mother, and has been literally by my side, holding me for both of them.
By the time I was ready to have my daughter, Nancy had moved about two hours away and taken another job. My water broke on a Saturday night at 10:00, and we rushed to the hospital. The first person we called was Nin. It was snowing, as it seemed to have been every day that winter, but Nin got in her car and drove to us anyway. While my (now ex) husband took a nap, and I was in labor, Nin made me laugh constantly. We watched the Miss Uruguay pageant (who knew?) and she kept my mind on anything other than the icky pain I was feeling.
When the time came to get that baby into the world, Nin was there--I said by my side, but she was actually at my feet. She stood right next to the midwife and held my leg because the pain and drugs had paralyzed it (temporarily). The Nin was the first to see her--and to this day, she says that she's going to take me to court for custody because she saw her first.
I don't know how I'd have made it through the birth of my child if it weren't for Nini literally being my physical muscle. I don't know how I'd have done it emotionally if she weren't there to love me. She was amazing. As you might imagine, that was the best day of my parenting life. Oh, there have been others, but the birth of your first/only child...well, that's hard to top.
But I also said she was there at the worst moment of my life as a mother. This one's harder to write about.
About seven years into my daughter's life, and almost 14 into the marriage, her dad decided to leave. It was devastating to both of us. My Nini was by my side for that whole thing. She helped me get myself together so I could protect my daughter and myself--but here's the most important thing she did.
It was a summer day almost four years ago now. My ex had come to pick up our daughter for his first weekend with her after we split up. She did not want to go. I did not want her to go either, but it was the agreement. She was literally having a tantrum on the sidewalk for all the neighbors to see, and I was holding myself together as best I could.
After he pulled away, I came in the house and called Nini. She was here in less than an hour and a half (remember, she lived two hours away). She laid on my couch beside me; she held me; she cried with me; she told me I would be okay.
That is a true friend.
There are many many other things to tell you--like how just a few weeks ago she called me out for hurting her feelings. That doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's hard to be told you've hurt someone you love. And after I apologized, she forgave me--FORGAVE ME just like that.
She tells me I'm nuts. She hates my taste in shoes. She laughs at me. And she loves me. And I love her.
That's my Nin.
Even though I don't know Nini myself, I want to thank her for her example of she-roic love and friendship. And I want to thank my friend Lynn for being so brave and sharing such personal stories. You are both my she-roes!
(Have a real-life hero or she-ro to nominate for this blog? Let me know at misslynn [at] misslynn [dot] com!)
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